Dear
Philip,
I am 26 and work for an insurance
company. I hate my job. It was the only decent one I could get after
college, so I took it, and now I’m scared I will be working here forever.
A friend told me that I should figure out
what I really want to do while I’m still young, and pursue it. I was an actress in college, and have always
dreamed of being on television. Though
it would be hard financially at first and it would mean breaking up with a man
I’ve been dating for almost a year, I want to move to California and give it a
real try. Is that insane?
Ready to Take a Chance
Dear Ready,
You know that old
expression about running away and joining the circus? (Wait, how could you? Twenty-six-year-olds
don’t know most old expressions. Or that
a sitcom set in an army medical unit during the Korean conflict was the best
show on television, ever.)
Anyway, running
away and joining the circus might not seem relevant in practice – I can’t
recall the last time I’ve heard about a travelling three-ring extravaganza –
but as a concept it’s pretty ageless.
And it’s also well constructed: notice how the ‘running away’ part comes
first?
That’s what you’re
really asking, Ready: Should I run away?
It’s a satisfying
fantasy. Your job stinks, you’re unhappy
in general, maybe your relationship isn’t what you’d hoped for. Time to wipe the slate clean, ’cause
everything will be better 3,000 miles away.
How can a fresh start not be?
Well, here’s
how. First, there are pesky practical
matters. Like income, while you wait to
be cast in the next big, buzzy show on AMC.
And the fact that you won’t actually be cast in that show until or
unless you’ve spent years doing incredibly hard work for no pay. Also?
The fact that there are countless people with the exact same dream, so
your odds – even if you do manage to pay your dues while working the graveyard
shift at Denny’s – are incredibly slim.
Which is romantic…and
completely insane.
But we’re not
really talking about your life-long dream of being on the small screen, are we,
Ready? We’re talking about running
away. Which means we’re talking about
your unhappiness.
Let’s start with
your job. You took something right out
of college because you felt you needed to, and now it terrifies you that you’ll
be stuck doing the same thing for the rest of your working years. That’s a completely legitimate fear. So regroup.
Put your resume together, and in the process of doing so, discover what
your qualifications and strengths are.
Find a mentor or career coach and share what you’ve learned about
yourself. They’ll be able to suggest
other industries to explore, or other jobs within the one you’re in now that
might be more interesting to you. Maybe
look for part-time classes that can help train you for new areas.
But don’t
quit. Don’t. Do all of the above while you’re still
drawing a paycheck from the insurance company.
It’s easier to get a job from a job.
Though it’s often unfair, a current stretch of unemployment on a resume
can raise red flags with potential employers. You’ll also make better choices
about the future if you’re not flat broke in the present.
Now, take a look
at the rest of your life. If you’re so willing
to ditch the boyfriend for the Hollywood hills, is it just maybe possible that
you want to run away from him, too? You
don’t have to: “I just don’t see this going anywhere” works just as well as a
transcontinental bus ticket.
Find the things
about your life that you do like, and concentrate on them. That’ll help you to get through changing the
stuff that’s making you unhappy, and it’ll help you to stop fantasizing about the
life you’re missing out west. Because at
this very moment, Ready, there are about a million struggling actors in
Hollywood who think that a steady job back east sounds pretty swell.
Eagerly awaiting
your community theater debut,
Philip
