Dear
Philip:
I used to enjoy Facebook. Now I find the most horrible political
postings from people that I otherwise like.
I am shocked by the nasty, hateful things that some of my “friends”
post, and I wish I didn’t know this about them.
Do I unfriend them, or just not look at Facebook until after the
election?
Shocked and Dismayed
Dear S.A.D.,
Isn’t it amazing
how, thanks to modern technology, just about anyone can become the jerky Uncle
who ruins Thanksgiving every year? To
quote a former president, I feel your pain: I’ve taken advantage of that newest
verb in our lexicon and unfriended more than a few Facebook buddies over the stuff
they feel the need to share with the world.
Here are my rough
guidelines for navigating political “talk” in the age of social media. If a Facebook friend posts something that
disagrees with my beliefs, but is respectful and/or interesting, that’s swell. Appreciated, even. After all, those who seek only confirmation
of their own views tend to be uninformed…and are usually proud of their
ignorance. I’d rather not fall into that camp.
If a friend posts something that puts down my candidate, but is mild and
funny, that’s fine, too. When we start
to creep into open – and personal – derision, I have to think about whether I
like that person enough to let them bring me down whenever I come across one of
their posts.
Here’s my
automatic “you’re outta here” trigger: If someone on my roster of Facebook
friends reposts hateful, racist, homophobic, extreme garbage, especially from a
fourth-rate political blog, they’re gone.
Doesn’t matter if they live down the street or if I had a crush on them
in high school. (Which happened, by the
way: a girl I mooned over as a teenager turns out to be about as ugly on the
inside as she was beautiful on the outside.
Finding that out sort of retroactively ruined the crush, you know?)
Obviously, politics
are a minefield. Four years ago, I was
honored to be the guest speaker at our library’s annual meeting, and I played a
little prank on the crowd. In closing, I
said, “I know we’re not supposed to discuss these things in public, but in the
spirit of community, I’d like to share something.” My parents shrunk a little, right in the
front row. “I know we’re coming to the
end of a long, hard-fought contest – and I know that around here, my guys are not
exactly the favorites.” My wife looked
daggers at me, not knowing where I was headed.
“I feel it’s important nevertheless,” I continued, “to support my
side.” Arctic doesn’t begin to describe
the chill that developed in that room.
And then I leaned forward, put on the baseball cap I’d hidden in the
podium, and shouted, “Go, Red Sox!”
I got a big laugh,
which grew louder when I added, “Did you think I meant something else?”
Here’s the thing
that ultimately made my joke not that funny…but very interesting. At least four people informed my folks afterward
that if I’d actually mentioned the candidates they didn’t support, they would
have stood up and walked out. I was
floored: have we grown so intolerant of anything or anyone who disagrees with
us that the mere mention of the other side will cause us to be angry and rude?
The answer, I’m
afraid, can be found in some of the stuff posted on social media. Here’s hoping that our ability to reject the
worst of that stuff by using the unfriend button will promote tolerance on
Facebook. Better spelling would be nice,
too.
Bipartisanly yours,
Philip
Dear
Philip:
So, give us a prediction. Who’s going to win this thing?
Eager to Know
Dear Eager:
Right now, my
money’s on the terrific “Argo,” though I suspect Spielberg’s “Lincoln” will
give it a run. I’m really hoping that
“Les Miserables” ends up as a strong contender, too. But we’ll just have to see.
Wait: did you mean
something else?
Get thee to the
polls!
Philip
